Song of Love: Daryaa from Manmarziyaan

The most exciting part about the music in an Anurag Kashyap film is I am eager to watch how he is going to use it in the narrative of the film, how he is going to reflect not merely the situation of the scene but also the personalities of his characters through music. The songs in his films constitute an important part to unfold the narrative, be it in a linear or a non-linear fashion, the aim is not merely to take the story forward, which is often quite a misused phrase to describe the importance of music in an Indian film, but to let the characters get a hold of their actions and perhaps create moments which are driven through the realization of getting more freedom when the camera is rolling. The beautiful and the most striking aspect about the music in an Anurag Kashyap film is how the same song can be used in different situations yet somehow provides similar vibes which the various sets of characters are going through. Daryaa from Manmarziyaan is one such song, which establishes the romantic bond between three people at different stages of their life. Rumi, Vicky, and Robbie, throughout the film, are immersed in a Daryaa (River), and while they are submerged in the mental river of certain emotions which is essentially formed through their quest of finding love, acknowledging their eccentric nature, indecisiveness, manipulative thoughts which are meant to derive a fruitful conclusion of finding someone worth spending life with, and the final point of realizing what their heart desires.

Sung by Ammy Virk and Shahid Mallya, written by Shellee, and composed by Amit Trivedi, Daryaa feels like a perfect song one could imagine if someone tells me that Anurag Kashyap has directed a mainstream Hindi romantic film, because I found a lot is going on throughout the song, and not just on the screen, but also in the lyrics, and how the sound of the song is juxtaposed with the personalities of the characters. The result is the sound that we hear in the form of the song can also be interpreted as feelings of these characters.

The constant theme of duality we see throughout the film is also present in this song, we see the Shah sisters and the twin brothers in Kashmir representing the dual nature of the characters, similarly, there are two singers used in the song, I found this quite smart from the director's point of view since the song could have been sung by one singer, but the additional singer gives it a more authentic touch and makes the song more of a conversation between the internal conflicts felt in love. I believe since the theme of dual nature and internal conflict forms an important part of the film, the people involved might have thought why not use that theme in the music as well to further elevate the core thought of the film. It's not that this dual personality necessarily represents right or wrong, just two different sides of a coin, struggling in their way in an attempt to solve the mystery of love. So, of course, there are going to be two different singers used to depict that internal struggle of love. It is more like a conversation between two people who are discussing the definition of love.

Throughout the film, we hear different versions of Daryaa, either in instrumental, in the background with Shenai or lyrical form, the first time we hear the instrumental version of Daryaa is when Rumi gets upset about Vicky's hesitancy to come to her house with his parents to discuss their marriage plans, what follows is Rumi's everyday routine from opening Bagga and Sons Sports shop to explaining the difference between the similar-sounding names of a badminton racquet and a hockey stick, coping her anger by eating spicy Golgappe. In a way, the instrumental version of the song almost feels like giving a foundation of things to come ahead for these two people, they will realize the fact that there is more to Pyaar than just indulging in Fyaar, as it turns out, Rumi becomes aware of this fact first and tries to sort out this issue with Vicky who is caught off-guard with Rumi's plans for marriage. The instrumental tune which feels like a Rajasthani Folk Tune slowly sets up the relationship dynamic between Rumi and Vicky. The relationship moves from crossing terrace at dawn for the adrenaline-driven make-out sessions into making important decisions about the prospects of life, the instrumental version of Darya acts as a catalyst in this transition period.

The Lyrical version of the song starts when Rumi tells Vicky in front of his family that she has agreed for the marriage proposal from Robbie's family and she doesn't expect Vicky to be present in the town, Vicky's Father is in agreement with Rumi's suggestions, and he too suggests Vicky to drive off to either Shimla or Delhi. The song starts with shots of the preparation usually observed in most of the weddings in a small town, sweets being prepared, a man with clothes iron is seen setting up his place of work, the chaotic atmosphere is captured beautifully by Sylvester Fonseca, the cinematographer of the film. The setting is very ordinary yet the shots make you feel the grandeur of the occasion of marriage in a small town.  

Let me first talk about the sounds used in the song, the song starts with clinching of bells, almost signifying the tragic end to Vicky and Rumi's love saga, as the singers gather momentum, we hear sound erupt with an intense cry, one can feel that this song is Vicky Sandhu's Jordan moment of Tutte Hue Dil Se Hi Sangeet Nikalta hai. The strong base used in the song is reflective of the modern touch to it as if it's composed by a DJ, which Vicky is. The DJ in question is heartbroken and has been told to compose a love song, more preference is being given to the designing of the sound rather than focusing on the lyrics, the sense of urbanization in the sound is totally in sync with Vicky's lifestyle, that aim of being classified under modern and ultra-urbanized is easily visible. The strong base, a slight hint of Indianness is what the song is. If you follow how the song is concluded, you can sense the outburst in Vicky's heart. The song is from Vicky's perspective. One could imagine Vicky being compared to the character of Sameer from Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, both are linked with the connection to music, although the comparison would be unfair to Sameer because although Vicky aims to become a DJ, he doesn't necessarily represent the craft of a musician, his idea of a popular musician is someone who appeals to masses, so one could certainly argue, how relevant Vicky considers music as a part of his life.

In an interview with Rajeev Masand, the music director of the song, Amit Trivedi mentioned that the reference song given to him was Qismat from Amy Virk, and was told to come up with something better, Amy Virk who sang the song appears on a poster with his popular song Qismat on the walls of Vicky's studio, where he mentions that artist such as him require one popular track and bit of luck to rule the pop music industry.

Now, coming to the lyrics of the song, Shellee uses quite conventional lyrics to represent the situation of separation of lovers, but I would like to infer that despite the conventional nature of the lyrics, there is a lot of stuff to be explored through the lyrics, लाख कहा दिल नु पर फेर वि है अड़ेया a line which perfectly sums up the dynamic between Rumi and Vicky, even though both are crazy, madly and passionately in love with each other but when both of them are told to come out of their fantasy scenario, they are just not ready to accept the reality, courtesy of the stubborn nature of their heart. My favorite line from the song is प्यार सवाल क्यों होया जी, के हाल बेहाल क्यों होया जी when the situation between Rumi and Vicky has changed so drastically that now the idea of love that both of them have turned into a question mark, simply because Vicky doesn't feel sure about marrying Rumi suddenly, and from Rumi's perspective that Vicky doesn't want to commit to her that he will marry her, the raw energy that acted as the catalyst between the two people has now transformed into a sense of doubt, a feeling of vagueness about their love. Shellee smartly crafts this line to pose the change in the equation of their relationship, love which is always meant to be the guiding light in life has now itself turned into a dark tunnel. The entire lyrical version of the song is from the perspective of Vicky rethinking about his decision, and how the absence of Rumi from his life will change the person he is. When the song starts comparing the person in question with God with the line तेनु खुदा मनेया ते तेनु रब मनेया, the instant reaction is that these are not the kind of people who will consider each other as an entity of God, they are characters from an Anurag Kashyap film, who are real and understand the Grey shade of life but it took me a while to understand that these lines actually could mean that to remain in high spirits they need each other. By high spirits, I mean a phase where both of them are so separated from the realities of the world.  

The Third-occasion in which the theme of Darya is used in the film is during the pre-interval sequence, where Rumi anxiously waits for Vicky, while Robbie wears his wedding outfit unsure whether Rumi will turn up for the wedding or not whereas Vicky takes a reverse gear yet again on his decision to be with Rumi. This theme I feel belonged to all the three protagonists who have somewhere started to submerged in the River of their tears. The theme also serves as the background for the Amrita Pritam Poem which Rumi recites.

The last time we hear Darya in an unplugged version sung by Deveshi Sehgal is when Rumi and Robbie are separated, and Vicky yet again tries to enter in her life. The song places Rumi in the same situation in which Vicky was placed earlier, but now she is standing in front of Robbie, this fascinating use of the same song in different forms feels that there is always more to lyrics and sounds of songs than what we generally imagine. The sense of doubt earlier felt by Vicky is now in front of Rumi as a question mark to go ahead with Vicky or Robbie because of प्यार सवाल क्यों होया जी के हाल बेहाल क्यों होया जी. Amit Trivedi mentioned that Shellee while writing the song termed it as the anthem of the phuke hue aashiq (burned lovers) which turns out to be true because at the first instance Vicky is that burned lover who cannot see his love going away from him, while in the last instance Rumi is having trouble accepting the fact that Robbie is no longer a part of her life, this never-ending loop of confusion, indecisiveness, rebound feelings associated with the feeling of love is so beautifully represented through many songs of the soundtrack, and Darya is just one such example of it.

‘96: Of Nostalgia, Missed Opportunities, Sound of Memories and K. Ramachandran's Closure

Johannes Hofer, a Swiss medical student in his 1688 thesis coined the term 'Nostalgia' and categorized it as a form of disease, which according to his research is driven by a form of pain which a person might feel, when they are far away from their home, or through a fear, driven by the belief that they might never be able to cherish that feeling of comfort of being in home. With time, Nostalgia evolved into something more layered and complex, from a disease, that it was earlier believed to be, it turned out to be more of a fundamental emotional state, additionally bringing several other feelings with it. It's like that vehicle which drives us away from confined space of reality and time, and take us into that zone with which our subconscious mind is so closely associated with. When the nostalgic stimulation hits the right nerve, it is often accompanied by loneliness, stubbornness, feeling of detachment with the world, and most probably meaninglessness.

When I think Nostalgia, the instant reaction that comes in my mind is how extensive its functions are in our life, at some point we may feel our life has become ordinary and mundane, at that point, nostalgia serves the purpose of providing us with a clear perspective of our existence, that much required direction is what it provides, leading us to understand life through a larger context. This context is basically us understanding or rather I should say treating life as a collection of moments crafted in a long narrative, once we start to understand this aspect, what comes next is fairly easy realization on our ends, that once there were certain crucial moments, and those became important part of our lives, and continued to remain intact in that narrative, and nostalgia takes us back into those moments. The other side of the coin, which functions almost similar to nostalgia is 'anticipation', both these entities needs to calibrated delicately in order for a more well clear narrative, one takes us into ethereal times, while the other serves to gives hope that the moments that are to come by in the near future will be of love and happiness, or as per our desires, that hope is what helps in difficult times. That feeling of sweet sadness in our hearts is what nostalgia is all about, the amalgamation of sadness arising from the loss of something very crucial, be it a person or the moments spent with that person, and a hope in the form of a feeling of contentment of being able to be in those moments. 

In the first scene of the song 'The Life of Ram' we see our protagonist, K. Ramachandran (Ram) jump into an ocean to capture the life under water, this is just a simple straightforward thought that very smartly establishes what we are going to witness throughout the film. Ram (Vijay Sethupathi) will be given an opportunity to jump into his ocean of memories, but before we are taken directly into his memories, we are introduced with the character through a beautifully narrated song, that lays the foundation for the protagonist for us to connect with him on a certain emotional level, his mental state is what is shown in the song, the song is staged in such a manner that on the first viewing it might primarily look as a song to let us get familiar with his lifestyle and his occupation, but it feels like a deceptively staged move on the director's part to let us try and understand Ram more closely rather than the life of Ram.

'96 (2018) is a Tamil film written and directed by C. Prem Kumar. The IMBD synopsis of the film goes like this "Two high school sweethearts meet at a reunion after 22 years and reminisce about their past over the course of an evening" It is somewhat accurate, but in some ways, after watching the film, it doesn't do justice to the broad experience it gave me, the experience is too abstract and difficult to capture in words, and that is when I decided to write a long post about this endearing and heartwarming film. It's certainly about 'Their' reminisce, but somewhere it's slightly more about Ram going back to his native place, and rediscovering those old, unforgettable memories which for years, he has kept very safely close to his heart. The film is about an opportunity that is being thrown to K. Ramachandran and Janaki 'Jaanu' Devi (Trisha Krishnan) to sit and ponder about the missed chance that they have lost over the course of their life of not ending up together. Both the central characters forms a crucial part of the narrative, but the narrative feels more diverted towards the perspective of Ram, who hasn't found his closure in life, and hence this aspect of the film finds a mention on the title of this post.

Ram is a travel photographer, he travels throughout the country on exotic locations, the song 'Life of Ram' starts our journey to know him more closely, the song is shot in spectacular fashion by Mahendran Jayaraju, and N. Shanmuga Sundaram, but apart from the visually aesthetic images, the more important thing that has been given major importance is to establish the psyche of the character and the theme of the film with subtle hints of how he perceives life. Ram is seen roaming inside Jungle, trying to find those perfect frame which he could capture and later on define, as we proceed further, we see him traveling ahead in his journey, water getting removed from the windshield of his car giving a more clear picture of Ram, thus signifying how he is lost between the world of his memories and real world. We see him traveling in water, feeling lost, but always in search of his perfect frames.

Water, Desert, Mountains, Jungle, Sandstorm, Waterfall, Monumental Locations, these places constitute the entire life of Ram, and how he finds moments in these places to be captured in his camera. The seashore he stands around indicates the level of how deep he has stored those memories of school inside him and how desperately he wants to immerse himself into those memories, yet he doesn’t, he just stands at the edge between the two worlds, the real one and the one he has created for himself, the burning sensation he feels in the hot sand of a desert brings him back to face the reality of his present life, he faces a sandstorm all alone, highlighting how tough it has been for him to reach at this point of time in life where he always fights alone, he finds a moment of solace under a water fall, and keeps looking at the Sun with an optimistic view, perhaps somewhere, searching for a light of hope that he knows he needs, but is unable to locate. He is seen driving his car in a desert, he finds a certain euphoria in driving his car and creating impressions of a loop, it's such a beautifully captured moment, he yells, and when we see him come out of his car, and gets a moment of peace, the loop is almost parallel to his present mental state that he is constantly wondering around (the memories from his school days). He moves from one city to another, finds simple moments and captures them with his own rationale that makes them appear extraordinary. At one point, he is walking with his baggage, alongside the Kolkata's hand driven rickshaw puller, Director C. Prem Kumar clearly tells us that Ram has been carrying an emotional baggage with himself for years, and he still continues to do so, both literally and in a metaphorical sense. Similarly, he lifts a heavy stone from the edge of the river, and tosses it into the river, he wish he could just lift the heavy baggage of his memories, and toss them somewhere deep in his heart. There is no stopping Ram and his life, he may catch a moment of pause, but the world around him is constantly moving ahead, that what drives Ram to get out of that pause mode, and go ahead with his life, a perfect example to prove this assumption of mine is one shot, where Ram is quietly sitting near a river, and it's raining, comes a boy from behind and makes a big jump straight into the river, that clearly points out the pattern in which Ram leads his life.

It's quite ironic that Ram's profession was written as a travel photographer, I mean we are knowing a man's story who appears to be so lost and out of focus in his present life and regularly travels back to his past life, and yet despite these qualities he teaches young kids about finding the right focus to capture a photograph, and continuously travels to different places, I found this aspect of '96 very clever, a man who is so out of ‘focus’ in his own life is teaching young kids to find perfect focus in an artistic sense, I agree that these two situations are entirely independent from one another, but I just need to admire the beauty of this irony. He tells his students that photography is that rare form of art where one can actually freeze time, another big hint here is that Ram's definition of photography feels so close to his idea of love that he shared with Jaanu, those moments he spent in the school are not present in a physical form via a photograph (except one group photograph), but somewhere the negatives of those memories are still kept intact in his mind. It might not be entirely a wrong idea to assume that Ram choose to be a photographer solely because of this reason.

A YouTube user by the name M. Sathis Kumar has compiled the list of places Ram visits in the song

We observe a sudden change in Ram's behavior as he approaches his native place, it's almost as if he has been waiting to come back home, he tells his student, to feel the air of the dawn, and experience the utter joy from it, obviously she cannot relate so easily with Ram's excitement, that euphoric tone with which he starts describing about each of the important locations of the city resonates a childlike response from Ram, who till that point in the film had been quite formal with all the people around him.

Ram's entry into the school is one of the most endearing and heartwarming sequences I saw on the big screen in 2018, He opens the gates of All Saints Matriculation Higher Secondary School, and as he enters, there is a phenomenal background score that illustrates his anxiety, happiness and nostalgia. Notice how smartly the director has avoided the usual rush in the school, almost giving a feeling that the emptiness in the corridors and the playground of the school were anticipating the return of K. Ramachandran. The freedom in his walk, him feeling the texture of chalk powder assimilated around the notice board, recalling his name from the roll of honor board, where he was a winner in High Jump and Short Put, him listening to the sound of the school bell, it still sounded pretty much same to him, he quench his thirst for the water of his native place by drinking the tap water from the school, now this is where the magic of '96 lies, recall the song 'Life of Ram' on two occasions we observe am unusual thirst from Ram, one inside the Jungle where water from his Bottle is finished, and yet he isn't satisfied, and the other scene where he opens his mouth, and anticipate that the rain water might satisfy his thirst, but when he drinks water from his school, one can sense that fulfillment of missing satisfaction. The athlete who left the school has grown old, and when he visits his classroom, there are two specific benches he goes toward, Jaanu’s seat and his own, from where he used to see her.

The screenplay then takes back in the past when Ram and Jaanu were school friends, The young Ram is played so brilliantly by Aadithya Baaskar and the Young Jaanu played  so confidently by Gouri G. Kishan. Ram is shy and anxious to talk to Jaanu that even a mere physical closeness with her increases his heartbeats and results in him fainting away. The affair between the two is kept simple and sweet, the emotional attachment I felt as a viewer is simply driven through the straightforwardness of their connection, Ram is in awe whenever Jaanu sings, and constantly requests her indirectly to sing a song "By the banks of River Yamuna (Yamunai Aatrile)" from 'Thalapathi', which she never agree to sing, only because she wants Ram to request her personally, and not through anyone else. Their connection ends abruptly when after the vacation, in a new class, when everyone is answering their regular attendance, Ram is not seen, Jaanu is left all alone when she comes to know that Ram has left the town and the school, she is devastated because she didn't get a proper goodbye from Ram. Her longing for Ram continues in college also, she then decides to pack her emotions in a bottle and move ahead in life. It is in these scenes that Gouri G. Kishan steals the show, and for a moment makes the film and the story all about herself and her desperation to see Ram. She infuses confidence of being in an indirect relationship and sadness of separation with great maturity, easily making her performance one of the highlights of the film.

A reunion of the batch from 96 is planned through a WhatsApp group, and Ram, who although appears excited about the prospect, does somewhere expects to see Jaanu, and the moment he hears her name, that introvert Ram turns into the shy teenager Ram, and when Jaanu, finally arrives at the reunion, and one can feel that her presence is marked by a soulful background score, and C. Prem Kumar holds the delicate moment very carefully, it's over two decades, since Jaanu saw Ram, the image of Ram in her mind is still the one with White Shirt and Blue trousers, just standing away at a certain distance, again not able to express what he feels for her, and this is reason when Jaanu meets Ram, for a brief period we imagine Ram from her perspective. In my opinion, that few seconds of Jaanu imagining Ram as the same guy who requested her to sing Yamunai Aatrile is one of the best cinematic moment from an Indian film in 2018. Ram might have changed physically, but the dynamics between them hasn't changed even a bit, Ram's heartbeats keeps on increasing, and when she tries to feel those heartbeats again after all these years of separation, he faints, yet again. One can say that the director is repeating the scenes, and argument can be given that when Ram and Jaanu meet, the moment should have been more dramatic, but it's not, and C. Prem Kumar doesn't even try to make it loud, and that holds a key here, because as Ram has kept her memories safely guarded with himself, the moment, which is meant to be special is very intelligently changed into something which feels very real and personal.

Another important aspect that deserves a discussion is the two important supporting casts, which acts as catalysts as well as anti-catalysts of sorts in the love story of Ram and Jaanu. Murali (Bagwathy Perumal) and Subhashini (Devdarshini) play the this unusual friends who try to bring Ram and Jaanu together yet keep them apart, and almost every time both of them reminds these couple about their individual realities. I say Anti-catalyst because they are aware of the fact that it's too late for both of them to get back together. They are the voice of Ram when he is unable to express his feelings. I got a feeling that throughout the reunion event, both Murali and Subhashini acted as Guardians for bunch of nostalgia hungry adults, who might be bored from their life, and wants to get fresh air of their beautiful memories, they are ones who made sure apart from drowning in their memories, the mirror of reality and present time is kept moving around in front of Ram and Jaanu. 

There are numerous points in the film, where the director takes Ram's eating and sleeping habits and juxtaposes them with the longing he feels in his life for Jaanu. In the introduction song, we see Ram eating all alone in a restaurant, and once out in wild forest we see him trying to grasp a fruit out of a tree, and when he is tired from his constant traveling, he finds a space near the trunk of a tree and get some sleep, now later on in the reunion event, when Ram brings Jaanu a well cleaned plate of food, and after eating a bit, she offers the food to him and insist him to eat, the camera slows down for a bit, and as Ram takes the first bit, it's a high point of the film, because Ram was tired of eating alone, he wanted to share his food with someone, that moment of sharing food with Jaanu brings him an internal satisfaction, later on when Jaanu cooks him dinner, he tells her that the taste reminded him of his mother's food, which leads Jaanu to throw a slight smile, that smile is a valid proof of what she thinks about the present day Ram, he later sleeps on the floor with utmost calm, perhaps that short nap is the deepest he might have slept in years.

I feel the most captivating part about the film is how C. Prem Kumar and Editor R. Govindaraj constructs a long solid narrative, I can imagine a lot of people complaining about the film to be boring, and dull at times, but here is the thing, once Ram and Jaanu decides to spend more time together, what follows is plain conversations, the high point or the dramatic peak so to speak that we have been made so accustomed to see on the big screen have totally made us the forget the beauty of a long, uncomplicated narrative that simply relies on the unspoken conversation between two people, the nuances of the actions between two people, how the camera moves during those conversations. Jaanu tells Ram that how she waited for him to come back, and how she felt his presence most of the time, and when Ram starts speaking to her how he believed that she refused to come and meet her, there was a moment where I believed that this could lead to a dramatic end, but this is where the film won me as a viewer, C. Prem Kumar kept on giving the characters a reality check, that it's too late now, all they could do is talk and ponder over about "What if" scenario. It could have been a totally peculiar end, where he could have given these two characters a colorful shape, but he decides to not do so, and kept it real. ‘96 represent that “What if” moments/phenomenon of our lives through the story of Ram and Jaanu. No one is wrong, nor they are right in anyway, it's plain sad illustration of destiny that they were not meant to be together. When Jaanu starts singing inside Ram's apartment, while he is searching for a torch, and as soon as he hears her sing, that chaos, and panic mode he switches into, that's another poignant moment of the film which made me realize the beauty of relying on simple things to drive your character in a story. Also, notice the names of the lead characters, Ram and Janaki, feels a strong mythological association with Ramayana.  

It's quite interesting how Ram's sexuality is represented in the film, I believe that all these years of loneliness had made him sexually dormant, when one of Ram's students tells Jaanu how strict he is with them that he doesn't even allow them to wear sleeveless dress, and when Jaanu inquires to him about his virginity, that further gives me a more strong reason to believe this. I haven't seen such a honest and pure character written for the male protagonist in recent times, and the reason I felt this is because he how often we see our lead "Hero" show his back to the camera, he doesn't want to be in the center of the frame all the time, he wants to be left alone with his own thoughts, He can take 'No' for an answer, considering the times we live in, that quality is on the top of the list to make him a desirable man. 

For a film that starts with life of an individual and slowly morphs into thinking over "What If" between two people, I was quite impressed with the soundtrack of the film and the way it was used as a strong supporting aid to build the narrative, Govind Vasantha's music is therapeutic in every sense, the high moment in a romantic film is usually placed through a dramatic climax, or by letting the people in the story reach their point of catharsis, but how does one lead to a high point in a film like '96, C. Prem Kumar and Govind Vasantha's soundtrack helps in building that high point in the narrative, instead of giving the moment on screen a dramatic touch, the sound is given that artistic liberty to have a pause and when no is expecting, burst out all the emotions, it wouldn't be wrong to say that the music of the film might have been composed keeping in the mind a thought that how would memories and Nostalgia sound. I still don't understand a word that's been sung, but its music about love and language cannot restrict it from conveying its meaning. Kalyani Menon's version of "Kaathalae Kaathalae" is that kind of song which initially seduces you with its tune, but later on captures your mind with feelings behind the lyrics. “The life of Ram” feels sad, despite the visually pleasing cinematography, because the sound is conveying the lost frame of Ram’s mind, yet during the end portion of the song, when after a slight pause, Ram continues his journey, the sound is really up there for us to feel the longing to belong to someone in Ram’s heart, but even with that burden, he goes ahead with his work. My favorite song from the album is "Anthaathi", the song which I feel is the song of nostalgia, and it’s the kind of song that fills the tiny little gap between feeling sad about the old time and hopeful that you might just be able to relive those moments again in life. The modern beats representing the modern times which has meteorically changed the meaning of love and romance, yet the song retains the charm of old school romance when “Kaathalae Kaathalae” is brought into it, the fusion of both these themes gives a beautiful outcome.

The relationship between Ram and Jaanu is like a love song composed by IIaiyaraaja, which instantly grabs your attention, an A.R. Rahman soundtrack, which will grow exponentially with time in your subconscious mind, a Mani Ratnam film, which no matter how many times you come across in life, it will give you a new aspect to discover each time you watch it again without any motives, a perfect frame captured from the lens of P.C. Sreeram, which will convey a thousand words through a still image.

Love constitute different meanings to people, each one in their own world will surely come up with an accurate definition of their own, it's a feeling that will be contradictory, hypocritical, beyond one's mind, full of hypothetical scenarios and conversations that if you are lucky enough will occur in real life too, it is something that is too hard to explain, but that's how it is, and that's how it gives us a sense of purpose in our lives. Ram is still living with that incompleteness in his life, Jaanu also feels that emotional void, but she has moved into a cosmopolitan culture of Singapore, she tells Ram that most woman would love to have a guy like him, she feels guilty when she learns that Ram is still alone, I wonder how marriage can be regarded as the proof of a person moving on over someone they once had feelings for, but C. Prem Kumar doesn't let his characters take cinematic liberties and construct a false notion of lost love, he stays honest with his subject, he holds a sense of respect for both of these individuals and their respective personalities, rather than giving them false hope to be together, he gives them a platform through a realm of silence, and leaves them in their own privacy. Perhaps Ram is destined to live in that incompleteness, and longing, his closure comes in an alternative form, when he gets to spend some time with Jaanu, I don't think he will ever be able to move on in his life, because if he had to, he wouldn't be waiting for this long. Just notice the difference in the color of clothes that both Ram and Jaanu wear throughout the film, it also reflects a major character trait of their individual personalities, Ram is seen in mostly dull color clothes throughout the movie, whereas Jaanu is seen in bright yellow color dress, the colors are truly symbolic of their specific points in life, her being in a more optimistic, stable, whereas him being in those dull colors mirrored a thought that he is just getting along with each day of life as it brings new challenges. When she wears Ram's clothes, for a brief period we see her in dark shades, I could totally relate to her emotional outbursts towards the climax once I realized this point, because for that brief period she might have felt how colorless Ram’s life has become and worst part of this whole situation is that she cannot bring those colors back in his life. 

The film does not have a quintessential climax to be honest, it's just that at one particular point, C. Prem Kumar leaves you with a moment in which Ram seems to have accepted his incompleteness which actually appears quite thoughtful, because Ram gets his moments with Jaanu, and the time in those moments will stay in his memory forever, similar to the ones he has been capturing in all of his photographs. '96 is a film, which deserves our time and attention solely because C. Prem Kumar crafts a magic show with his strong narrative of unfulfilled love, he makes an actor like Vijay Sethupathi who is so versatile with his choices of roles blush so genuinely which is so rare to be found in films, and in those moments of him feeling shy, the pure cinematic joy of ’96 is felt. 

Thoughts on grief

After months of pondering about it, when I finally decided that I'll post something about Grief, I made myself a promise that I will not write about the parallels that grief has with love. Why did i make such a stupid promise to myself that to not mention the structural similarities between the two emotions, which are so forcefully interlinked with each other, because it gives me an opportunity to read, think and write about grief in a more broader perspective, comparing it with love will make me write about it in a constricted manner, which I have observed I have been doing (in some form or other) in all the post I have written over the last year. Not that I am deliberately ignoring the symbiotic relationship between Love and Grief, it's just that I want to test myself whether I can put up something worth reading about Grief without anyone thinking merely about its association with love.

You must have read about the law of conservation of energy, which simply states that energy can neither be created nor it can be destroyed, it can only be transformed from one form to another. Grief, almost works on the same principle. To classify it under as a form of emotional state does lay restrictions on its reach to our daily lives, and to be honest it seems a bit unfair on how we treat a person going through a state of grief, because grief is too big an experience to be classified under simply as an emotional state. 

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

It's better we label it as some source of energy, positive or negative, that totally depends on our own individual perceptions, but energy in any form is what triggers the person to gradually fall into that state of mind, so instead of caring about the end result, why don't we think more broadly about the source from which it has arrived. Perhaps, the answer to this lies in the question itself, we are so fixated with the destination rather the experience of the journey and not giving too much importance about the exact point which initiates that journey. Let's just assume for moment that we can't do anything about the source from which grief has originated, but the least we can do on our part is not neglect it, I am not telling you to acknowledge it's omnipotent presence, but don't deny the fact that our thoughts and actions are not surrounded entirely by its presence.

Since, energy is a quantitative property, Grief can also be considered reckonable in nature, no, it cannot be quantified literally, but by identifying the duration of the impact that source of energy which had preoccupied our minds for a specific time period might help us quantify it to some extent, however, a more important aspect is not how do we quantify grief, but how do we identify it in ourselves and respect it gracefully.

Grief could possibly be best described as a physical as well as a psychological experience that changes our outlook towards life, and force us to believe that the feeling of emptiness that has resided inside us is far deeper than what we actually thought it to be. An experience that at times will make you realize that it's something far more complicated, and the most ruthless nature is it's timing in our lives, because grief strikes us in our most vulnerable form, so in a sense the core power of grief lies entirely on the timing of its occurrence, and once it has taken over our mind and thoughts, we are left with no choice but to embrace it, initially with some kind of reluctance, but with time, as it grow on us, that acceptance is found with more humility, because by that time we should understand the scenario that particular energy in the form of grief is a far bigger entity than us, and cannot be destroyed or created, it will spend some quality moments with us, and when the right time comes, it will transfer itself into another form, and no we don't get to decide that 'Right' time. 

I remember someone telling me that grief is like the last station before we reach the destination of our catharsis, I didn't had any strong reason to disregard the idea, perhaps now I get what that meant, before we get to our closures, we are tested by life itself, that are we even ready for it, and the strongest parameter to judge that mental state is that life puts us through a period of grief. It's simply to make sure, that we'll be well prepared to handle such a vast range emotions when we reach to that end point.

So, coming back to my confused loophole of grief, I am still not able to properly articulate what grief means in a broader perspective, an idea, an illusion that everything around us is empty, or a story that we start telling ourselves that through this period we are going to find our true identity, that something magical is going to happen in our lives which will correct all the problems. It doesn't appear to be that simple, the beauty of grief lies solely on its origin. Grief arises due to incomplete desires, loss of irreplaceable proportions, but the twist arises due to quite a strange phenomenon, when we slowly fall into that pit of grief, and after some time, when we refuse to come out of it, and start questioning the existence of our lives, and several other abstract thoughts starts jumping inside our head which we fear will not make any sense if we try and share them with other people. Often, in last few months I found myself tweeting that we live in a cynical world, I wonder is that primarily because of the fact that we are in a sad state of life or from the fact that the world around us is unnerved by our sadness, that refusal to come out of our grief respectfully is probably because of the cold behavior we might receive from the people around us. That fear of what people might assume about our behavior is what has directed to this cynical thought process. 

An example of this situation is when we are questioned "How are you doing?", Now how do we respond to this common question which grief might give an illusion to be in the form of philosophical question, do we actually reply how are we doing from our heart, and convey the chain of random thoughts that we are feeling. C'mon, please tell me that the answer to this depends at what time of the day you are asked this question, I think the most positive responses will be in the favor of late nights, when there is complete silence, and we are desperately trying to be in peace with our mind.

The respect that I have been mentioning from the start, which is generated inside us via grief, is hard earned, because when grief in any form strikes us, and commands complete control over our existence, then it starts to unravel our life, and that respect and humility arises naturally in response to that action. This is what we get back in return, that respect teaches us responsiveness. The resistance to accept it respectfully is what suffering means, because then Grief will be in a more vicious form, it will weaken our knees forcefully at any point of the time during the day in any form. It will trigger more reactions from us in the form of anger, frustration, irritations, anxiety and eventually bitterness. To think that it can be figured out without realizing the larger consequences is a grave mistake on our part, which a lot of us do (at least I confirm about myself)

In that crucial moment which almost feels like a true cinematic adaptation of an opera, when we surrender ourselves to it totally, we take ourselves back in a more dignified form. Grief is that beautiful mirage we will reflect two extreme versions of us, no matter if we accept it or deny it, the mirage will make us see an illusion of images, which will be thought provoking in their nature. One will make us see the larger picture; it will help us make peace with our heart, while the other will give us glimpse of our own future, where we will be suffering because of our own indecisiveness.  

You might feel that this post is just a pretentious attempt on my part to write about grief or rather romanticize it, that's purely my lack of ability to articulate my thoughts properly. Grief is much more enormous in its dimensions to affect us than what we actually think it to be.....it’s your own individual decision how you treat it, just do not restrict it…………

Of Aanand L Rai's Cinema, Single Screens and Shahrukh Khan

While watching the trailer of the much anticipated Shahrukh Khan starrer 'Zero', I noticed the scene where the character of Bauua Singh is seen dancing enthusiastically on Chikni Chameli, he then throws his hat towards the screen. That reminded me of the way Aanand L Rai has been depicting single screen theaters in his films, which in some way I feel reflects a symbolic attitude along with the cultural influences of cinema on his characters, which are small town people with conflicts, people with desires, people who are looking for love, people who are trying to make it big in their life, people who wants stability, people who desires to live their life, and not merely let it pass away, as Bauua Singh says "Zindagi Katni kisse thi, Hame toh Jeeni thi". The scenes where characters are seen watching a movie in a single screen are not necessarily plot changing scenes; they are added merely as a subtle tribute to the impact of cinema on the lives of people coming from a small town.

I am quite intrigued by the collaboration between Shahrukh Khan and Aanand L Rai, simply because we have an icon, who has shaped an entire country's perception towards romance for the last three decades, along with a man who has successfully portrayed the nuances of small town stories and its people through his films. When I saw Shahrukh Khan's character dancing inside a single screen theatre, I found that moment amusing, because Mr. Rai will now be directing a man, who has given dreams and hope to millions of people over the years that life and love are meant to be larger than life and cinematic in its representation, that man will now be seen as a character which might have originated out of those of millions of people. Surely, it's not happening for the first time, but I can sense a poetic ecstasy in this collaboration.

In Tanu Weds Manu, We see Jassi and group watch Sooraj Barjatya's "Hum Saath Saath Hain", where Tanu asks Manu out for a date, it's a small conversation but it's depicting the importance of going to watch a movie in small town, and that too when a wedding is around the corner. The very essence of Kapurthala is captured beautifully in the film. Tanu at one point asks Manu to shake a leg like Hrithik, while in the sequel we see Manu sarcastically refers to himself as Hrithik Roshan. 

In Raanjhanaa, Kundan and Murari watch Lawrence D'Souza's "Saajan" in a single theatre, and while Kundan is thinking about the kind of sacrifice Sanjay Dutt is making on the big screen, he is brought back to reality by Murari, who then shouts on top of his voice "Sanju", there is certain relatable feeling in that scene, we have been a part of that screaming protagonist name process, while drawing parallel to the scene or situation of that character to our own lives, there is nothing melodramatic about that, that is just the power and influence cinema has constructed over the time in our minds about expressing our love to someone. In "Tanu Weds Manu Returns", we see Raja and Tanu getting back together, they go and watch Sanjay Leela Bhansali's "Ram Leela" in a single theatre, and later on Chintu mentions it to Tanu's father that a matinee show of Aashiqui 2 is being watched at Gunjan Theater.

The impact that quintessential Hindi films has made on the mindset of people living in a small town is without a doubt infectious. For example, in Tanu Weds Manu Returns, there are two instances I found where Datto and Pappi refer to Manu as Shahrukh Khan, whereas in Raanjhanaa we see Kundan comparing Zoya with Katrina Kaif, it's almost as if these actors represent that reference point of larger than life romance, and hence that's probably why every single romantic move coming out from a small town guy is bound to label him as Shahrukh Khan. These little instances does indicate the fact that Aanand L Rai’s characters originated from small town should convey some part of their daily lives through the references of popular Hindi films.

Single screen theaters constituted an important part of my upbringing, for small town people like me, going to a single screen meant an event like feel. The dark hall provided a sort of rescue from the cynicism and despair of the outer world, once the darkness of the hall took over, there was no other distraction to attribute our mind to, there used to be a certain aura in that dark hall, a feeling of complete encapsulation by what we saw on the big screen. The whistles, hooting and clapping at punchlines, and Aanand L Rai has perfectly captured that madness in his films. The series of clipart narrating the film, and specifically highlighting the interval point, when the lights turned on during the interval, it almost felt that we are taken back to reality very abruptly.

Not that Shahrukh Khan hasn't played the small town common guy before, remember Sunil from Kundan Shah's “Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa”, yes that Sunil with whom we can so easily relate with, he had imperfections, flaws, had certain daydream driven notions about love. The Raj, Rahul came much later, and became cult, and during the time period that those characters were becoming the important part of mainstream Hindi films, we became so fascinated with those charming, larger than life personalities, that we have forgotten that he could so effortlessly transform himself into Sunil. This is no way reflects that I am trying to draw a parallel line between Sunil and Bauua, he might and should definitely turn out into an altogether different character, my point is that I am trying to connect certain dots between the cinematic world of Aanand L Rai, Small town people, Single Screens, and Shahrukh Khan, (if it exists) and I might not present a perfect rationale to this theory, but just the idea of it sounds so interesting, and worth discussing. A writer, whom I follow on Twitter (@AbbakkaHypatia) told me few months back that the way Sunil looks at Anna during the 'Ae Kash Ke Hum' song is kind of reflective of our own romantic side, and that sense of relativity is what makes him a superstar of its own kind, because a common man can certainly be a Shahrukh Khan of his own world, that discussion somehow stayed with me, and it made me think how valuable and precious the presence of Shahrukh Khan has been in our lives.

The trailer of Zero gives me that hope that once I am done watching the film, I’ll be able to connect the missing points in between these entities.